By Jan Harmon
words and music © 1988
CHORUS: OH GOSH! It's a MacIntosh!
Squash it into applesauce, please.
Golden Delish, with dapples . .
Northern Spy, Granny Smith,
lip-smackin' pippins with cheese . .
How do you like them apples?
1. Isaac Newton took a nap, well,
at least until that apple fell
and hit him on his cranial cavity.
He sat up and screamed,
"By gum . . it's a GRAVENSTEIN!"
And, everybody thought he said . . GRAVITY!
2. Johnny Appleseed succeeded in seeding apple seeds.
From sea to sea, the seeds he seeded you can still see!
Well, you can sip cider thru a straw,
but, don't sit under the apple tree
with anybody else but me!
3. Now . . APPLE's a computer, and it couldn't be cuter!
There's a menu for every APPLE appetite.
They've even got software for APPLE pi-R-square.
So, cook some up, and have a little gigabyte!
4. In Eden, Eve and Adam percieved their anatomies
PURE . . as nuns in a chapel . .
'til a pippin Eve was nibblin' labled Eve evil . .
BUT HECK! It was Adam's . . apple!
5. After serving him the streudel, William Tell said to him,
"Won't you let me shoot this apple off your noodle?"
Then . . aiming for the fruit . .
an arrow Will did shoot . .
but he shot him in the streudel . .