1. In case of a nuclear attack Before you evacuate The EPA has said you will not be dead If you follow the advice they advocate Just .. CHORUS: Rub on number fifteen sunscreen Call your mother Cover up the pool Pick the kids up at school Wear your sunglasses Put on clean underwear Return all library books And water the plants 2. Remember your insurance doesn't pay For nuclear damage to your car So push it off a cliff or a mountain if You hear annihilation isn't far And .. CHO. 3. Cancel your American Express At the hint of nuclear mania For you may be vaporized on Chicago's South Side But your card could still turn up in Lithuania And .. CHO. 4. Be sure and send a change of address For your local post office's file For in a holocaust all your mail could get lost And end up in a dead-letter pile And .. CHO. 5. Medicare will cover all the bills If you happen to be over sixty-five And if you're on vacation when you die of radiation You'd get promptly paid, if you were still alive Oh .. CHO.