1. Last Tuesday, Aunt Bertha departed this earth ..
having willed her remains to science.
And, do you suppose that Aunt Bertha knows ..
now she's part of some devilish alliance?
This technician named Sidney said they couldn't use her kidney ..
her liver, her spleen .. nor her azalea.
But her DNA they joined with a pig's from Des Moines ..
and now, Bertha's a pork loin named PIGMALIA!
CHORUS: PIGMALIA-LIG-LIGGY .. the patented piggy!
The first of her kind on this earth. A ..
mish-mash of gene splices.
You have to look twice
just to see if it's SWINE .. or BERTHA!
2. PIGMALIA can chat in both Greek and Pig Latin ..
rendering BACON and SHELLEY.
A smart little porker .. she reads the NEW YORKER ..
and watches HEE HAW on the tele.
But .. no matter how sophistocated a piggy may become ..
educated in Prague or St. Louis (ST LOUEE) ..
she may recite poetries .. but when you take her out for "CHINESE"
right away, she orders SLOP and Chop SOUI' E-E-E-E!
3. Oh, thank you, Aunt Bertha, for doing your part.
I always thought that you were just fakin'
when you'd lie 'round in bed. But, now that you're dead ..
you go whole hog to bring home the bacon!
Now .. there's something quite mean .. and a little bit obscene.
And, if I thought about it .. I'd probably get thinner ..
whenever our host brings out the Crown Roast, and says,
"Guess who's coming .. to dinner!"
4. Now .. Bertha is fated to be reincarnated
each time the pigs wish to frolic.
Little piggies with gout .. and seed warts on their snout ..
and this tendency to become alcoholic!
Now .. I think you meat packers have gone a little bit crackers
to listen to them genetic genies!
Cuz if you think I'M consumin' what's part PIG and part HUMAN ..
what I'm tellin' you is .. you're full of weenies!