Sing a Song of Watergate

By Jan Harmon
words and music © 1974

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	1.	Sing a song of Watergate--
		A pocket full of spies--
		Four and twenty blue beards with
		fingers in the pie--
		When the pie was opened
		the beards began to sing--
		"He’s a knave, and he’s depraved
		but I don’t know a thing!"

	2.	The king was in his counting house
		counting on his flunkies--
		The queen and all the princesses
		are fast becoming junkies--
		And all the country bumkins,
		the hungry and the poor,
		are soundly spanked and put to bed
		or sent away to war.

	3.	One day I flipped the TV on
		not having much to do--
		And there appeared our fearless Chief
		to say a word or two.
		He said "My fellow Americans"
		I’m pure as pure can be--
		But as your king, I take the full
		responsibility.

	4.	I’m just a humble fellow with
		a family and a dog--
		And several million dollars worth
		of California smog--
		I wouldn’t stoop to such a trick
		it makes me want to weep
		I’m just a victim of the
		crummy company I keep!

	5.	They say I should cooperate
		and give them all the tapes--
		And take down all the microphones
		I’ve hidden in the drapes--
		But it’s in the national interest
		that the tapes stay here with me--
		At least until I’ve had the time
		to fix them properly.

	6.	It would undermine the folks to learn
		the president’s profane
		To find that he is just a crook
		and not at all insane--
		The country thrives on fantasy
		on slogans it depends--
		Besides, the boys I’ve slandered are
		my very closest friends!

	7.	And as I watched, I had the thought
		that things looked mighty tense--
		and every time he shook his jowls
		and said "Coincidence!"--
		Now, he can’t believe we’re all that dumb!
		This has to be a plan--
		For some heroic deed that means
		the betterment of man!

	8.	I am a man of principle--
		I never sold used cars--
		I do not chew tobacco
		and I do not frequent bars--
		I certainly will not resign
		I’m not a man who quits--
		and if you don’t believe me, then
		you’re just a bunch of ----- (expletive)

	9.	Oh Richard dear, I think I know
		It all comes clear to me!--
		I am ashamed I doubted you
		and your sincerity.
		It’s plain, you are a martyr--
		a sacrificial goat!
		If ever you should run for Pope
		you’re sure to get my vote!

	10.	Why our country is united
		as it’s never been before--
		As with the voice of one, we shout
		"Shove him out the door!"
		Republicans and Democrats are
		chummy as can be--
		You are a scoundrel and a fraud
		you’re Uncle Sam to me!

	11.	So sing a song of Watergate
		of Richard let us sing.
		The history books will praise him
		as, our Kamikaze King--
		He saw a land divided, and he
		brought back harmony--
		By offering the people
		a common enemy!