1. Sing a song of Watergate-- A pocket full of spies-- Four and twenty blue beards with fingers in the pie-- When the pie was opened the beards began to sing-- "He's a knave, and he's depraved but I don't know a thing!" 2. The king was in his counting house counting on his flunkies-- The queen and all the princesses are fast becoming junkies-- And all the country bumkins, the hungry and the poor, are soundly spanked and put to bed or sent away to war. 3. One day I flipped the TV on not having much to do-- And there appeared our fearless Chief to say a word or two. He said "My fellow Americans" I'm pure as pure can be-- But as your king, I take the full responsibility. 4. I'm just a humble fellow with a family and a dog-- And several million dollars worth of California smog-- I wouldn't stoop to such a trick it makes me want to weep I'm just a victim of the crummy company I keep! 5. They say I should cooperate and give them all the tapes-- And take down all the microphones I've hidden in the drapes-- But it's in the national interest that the tapes stay here with me-- At least until I've had the time to fix them properly. 6. It would undermine the folks to learn the president's profane To find that he is just a crook and not at all insane-- The country thrives on fantasy on slogans it depends-- Besides, the boys I've slandered are my very closest friends! 7. And as I watched, I had the thought that things looked mighty tense-- and every time he shook his jowls and said "Coincidence!"-- Now, he can't believe we're all that dumb! This has to be a plan-- For some heroic deed that means the betterment of man! 8. I am a man of principle-- I never sold used cars-- I do not chew tobacco and I do not frequent bars-- I certainly will not resign I'm not a man who quits-- and if you don't believe me, then you're just a bunch of ----- (expletive) 9. Oh Richard dear, I think I know It all comes clear to me!-- I am ashamed I doubted you and your sincerity. It's plain, you are a martyr-- a sacrificial goat! If ever you should run for Pope you're sure to get my vote! 10. Why our country is united as it's never been before-- As with the voice of one, we shout "Shove him out the door!" Republicans and Democrats are chummy as can be-- You are a scoundrel and a fraud you're Uncle Sam to me! 11. So sing a song of Watergate of Richard let us sing. The history books will praise him as, our Kamikaze King-- He saw a land divided, and he brought back harmony-- By offering the people a common enemy!