CHORUS: OH GOSH! It's a MacIntosh! Squash it into applesauce, please. Golden Delish, with dapples . . Northern Spy, Granny Smith, lip-smackin' pippins with cheese . . How do you like them apples? 1. Isaac Newton took a nap, well, at least until that apple fell and hit him on his cranial cavity. He sat up and screamed, "By gum . . it's a GRAVENSTEIN!" And, everybody thought he said . . GRAVITY! CHO. 2. Johnny Appleseed succeeded in seeding apple seeds. From sea to sea, the seeds he seeded you can still see! Well, you can sip cider thru a straw, but, don't sit under the apple tree with anybody else but me! CHO. 3. Now . . APPLE's a computer, and it couldn't be cuter! There's a menu for every APPLE appetite. They've even got software for APPLE pi-R-square. So, cook some up, and have a little gigabyte! CHO. 4. In Eden, Eve and Adam percieved their anatomies PURE . . as nuns in a chapel . . 'til a pippin Eve was nibblin' labled Eve evil . . BUT HECK! It was Adam's . . apple! CHO. 5. After serving him the streudel, William Tell said to him, "Won't you let me shoot this apple off your noodle?" Then . . aiming for the fruit . . an arrow Will did shoot . . but he shot him in the streudel . . TOODLE-OODLE! CHO.